Monday 8 May 2017

Weta Workshop poem

Ground Weta Workshop Poem

Ground weta blending into wood,
So not to be seen like it should,
Some older that others,
But they are still brothers,
They don’t have udders,
But mate in Summers,
What type of weta are they,
Depends on where they live and where they stay,
But when they come across something they haven't seen before They think it's bizarre,
When they see another weta they don't know who they are,
Little ground weta fighting for the leaf,
But when the caterpillar come along all he wanted to do was be a sneaky thief,
Make a noise behind them and they’ll hear you from their knees,
You can find them in trees,
They might rumble in the breeze.
Possums and mice think weta are fun,
Because they always end up in their tum.

By Max and Josh R.

1 comment:

  1. Bula Max, I am sorry to say this but your poem hasn't met the criteria. Here is a list of the things you have not added in your poem.

    • You haven't added a scientific maori name for the weta.
    • You haven’t put a description for the location of the weta species.
    • You haven’t added information about the food chain and lifecycle.
    • You haven’t got words that sound the same but have different meanings.
    • You haven’t used words that have similar meanings.
    • You haven’t used any describing words that use like or as.
    • You haven’t added any words with the sss sound such as hiss.
    • You haven’t changed any words e.g: Sing - singing, Dance - dancing.
    • You haven’t used any sounds in your poem such as Sh, Th, Pl.
    • You haven’t added the word for a group of weta!

    I'm sorry but, I haven't seen any of these throughout your poem. On the fourth, fifth, and sixth line of your poem I don't quite understand what you are trying to say?

    On the other hand In your poem on the second to last line and the last line you have write what they eat, but it would of been better if you could've explained that a bit more.

    You have added some rhyming words but not all of them make sense in the sentence you have used them in.

    Other than all this I did enjoy your poem. I can see throughout your work you have had a go and make an effort to create your very own poem. Thank you for your work.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.